Inspired and other things

I haven't been blogging in a while.  That's fine, nobody reads this blog anyway.

Ghibli movies tend to inspire me.  At least, certain of the films do.  Whispers of the Heart, The Cat Returns, OnlyYesterday and even Porco Rosso to some degree.

The first three of these are really focused on a person who is coming to grips with who they are.  They take on the challenge of figuring out who they are and who they want to be, and while none of them really come to a true conclusion, all of them are moved along in their journey.  This is true even in Porco Rosso, though the impact is weighted more to the dual protagonist rather than the protagonist in that film.

So, I'm inspired.  I haven't been practicing guitar for a while (at least 6 weeks), and the itch is returning.  I'm not sure why I put it down.  Likely some combination of assorting other priorities around.

There's been a lot rumbling through my head lately.  A lot of nudges in the brain to get me doing more things. Stuff I haven't been doing.  I've resisted so far, because I'm really not wanting to overburden myself with too many things.  I'd rather just keep my free time mostly free, though I would like to maybe be doing something a bit more than I currently am.

A short list of potential activities are music, writing, yarn crafts, exercise, and language study.

I haven't done any active language study in a long time.  Even the largely passive Anki studies have gone by the wayside.  I have a lot of interest in language, but no real outlet for it.  German, I do have a bit of an outlet, but it's one of those things where I'd need to put in some effort first to get it started.

For writing, I know the simplest thing is just to set aside some time and start writing.  It's not like I'm short for ideas.

Then, with yarn, if I get the stuff I have going now finished, then I think I should be able to look at starting something new.  Until then, I really ought to be more focused on finishing what I've got started.

The music thing also shouldn't be too bad if I was to do something.  30 minutes a day should be easy enough, but I do know that it's hard enough to fit in my workouts most days.  I'd need to become very efficient about getting things done in my day.  That's an item of work all on its own.

So, that's where I am.  Inspired, but cautious about setting on anything which isn't my workouts right now.  Maybe I'll give the whole thing some serious thinking and see what I come up with.

Not 100%

Fighting off some kind of illness.  Didn't go to the gym last night, though I should have done.  Will go tonight when I get home.

Scale was nice to me today, said 188#.  It'd be nice for it to continue a nice down trend through the week, maybe will encourage me more.

Efforts, blocking and pushing on

I tried to get to the gym last night, but a damaged tire prevented me from getting there.  My workout consisted of jacking up the car, changing the tires and throwing the broken tire in the trunk.

The diet part was difficult last night too.  I was very close to calories for the day.

Today looks like it will be about as bad, if not more difficult.  I woke this morning hungry and frustrated, and while toast and peanut butter is good, it's hardly the filling breakfast I wish I was eating.

I've got a dinner tonight, which is going to be difficult to keep from overeating, so I'm debating whether a single day will throw off the numbers or not.

Thus far, the weight hasn't budged down from 190#, so I figure there's probably not going to be a sudden weight loss for this week.  The slow, steady progress part is always the most difficult.  Especially the slow part.

Difficulty level rising

Right.  Third day of the diet down and the first real difficulty starts to show up.  Irritability.  The swing in overall calories - especially sugars - has begun to show.  So, I was pretty irritable last night.

This morning  I woke hungry.  Which isn't a good thing.  The intent was to avoid morning snacks and just hold out until lunch, but that didn't happen in the end.   Bread and peanut butter to keep things happy all around.

Lunch was a bit extravagant on the calorie side of things.  A double leg chicken dinner with fries and roll.  I could have cut back the calories by ditching the roll and also by just getting a single leg.  That would have been at least a little bit better for me and the total counts.

I'm left with about 550 for the rest of the day, so no snacks and a vegetarian option dinner and I'll be fine.

I hit the gym today for deadlifts, and I've been debating whether or not I should be trying for a new deadlift PR, or just leaving that for now.  I'll probably try for both.  If I can hit 235 for at least 1, and then bang one rep at 285, then follow up with a couple of reps at 225 and 215, I'll be good for next week.

Food and such

Still sticking to the diet.  Calorie counting isn't the worst thing, it just means being vigilant on recording what I'm eating.  It also means taking a bit of time before I eat something to consider how many calories it is, and whether or not those could be better used with something more substantial.

I find that most of my calories come from things which are pretty calorie dense - at least when I'm not paying attention to the calorie totals.  Things like breads and sweets and such.  So, taking note of those and limiting my access to them is a pretty effective method for keeping me from eating them.

Yesterday wasn't too bad for food, but I woke up pretty hungry.  A bit on the tired side of things too, though I feel that's to be expected.

Scale read at 190 this morning, which is good.  I figure it will nudge down a bit more by the time Sunday rolls up.

Day 1

I'm not going to start posting about every day of the diet, but day 1 went by ok.

A bit of hunger mid-morning, but that was because I hadn't eaten anything at that point.  Finding things to snack on became a bit of a challenge, because there just wasn't anything in the house that qualified without also being several hundred calories.

Generally, it felt the same as the diet felt last time I did one.  Slightly annoying, but it doesn't put things into a place where I feel like I'm trudging through hell.

Should be the same for the next couple days.  I imagine that there's going to be some difficulties come Friday, as the meals out really aren't possible for me to do.

Resolutions

I have avoided resolutions in the past, and replaced them with more general goals of things I wanted to learn or try.

This year, I've got both goals and resolutions.  I've broken them into categories to make them easier to keep organized mentally.

First up is Fitness.  This has three parts to it.  One is the diet.  I am going to stick to a diet until I hit 160#.  After that, I'll have to figure out what I'm trying to do with the body I have.  With this is workouts.  I'm resolving for three times a week.  The third chunk is biking.  I didn't ride much (if at all) last year, so I'm resolving to get on the bike this year when the spring starts.

Then there's Language study.  I've waffled between continuing on with German, re-learning French, or picking up something new-ish like Japanese.  I've decided on German, and have started to organize a few resources to help me learn.  The keys to this are to listen and read and watch more things in German, and also to use Anki to help me study vocabulary.  Grammar I'm hoping to learn via usage... 

The third big thing is Finances.  Initially, I'd been thinking of pushing down my line of credit, but that's debt that only moves when I put more money against it.  It's not the most effective area to push additional funds.  I've got two other debts where the money might go to better use, so I'll be looking at those to decide where best to shove any additional cash.

Fueling the Finance thing is a resolution to investigate and implement ways to earn additional money.  This is both through actual earnings like an side-job or craft works or whatever, and through cutting out expenses to try to get rid of things which cost money but provide me with nothing useful.

Fourth is to start writing more.  I've kinda set a goal of 10,000 words a day, which results in 333.3 words a day (for a 30 day month).  333 words isn't that much to do, and shouldn't require more than a half hour or so of my time.  Along with this, I'm going to do my best to participate in the writing critique group.  Should be good for me.

There's a fifth item, which is to put in some effort on the guitar.  Realistically, I know I'm not going to be spectacular at the guitar, but it would be nice to be able to play some songs and such.  Noodling around is nice, but I'd like to do just a bit more.  It's been nearly a year since I put any effort into it, so I'm hoping to put in some now.  The goal is to try to get in 30 minutes or more every day.

I'm also going to try to find or found a regular practice group.  The impetus of regular practices should be enough to have me picking up the guitar on a regular basis.

The sixth item, which is the last bit, is a very general overall improvement of the self.  This means taking on more housework, and noticing when things need doing.  Not just noticing them, but getting them done.

To this end, I want to start with the 2-minute rule, which I currently apply pretty inconsistently.  This is, in short, to do any task which takes less than 2 minutes as soon as you notice it needs doing.  In practice, this means putting dishes where they belong, putting things back where they go, and making the bed.  Little things which make the whole house run more efficiently overall.

I'm also looking to adjust my internet browsing behaviour at home.  Right now, I tend to idle online, and it burns a fair bit of time that could be put to other activities.  To counteract this, I'm going to try to use the internet with intent.  When I sit down, I should have a plan of what I want to do, and for approximately how long.  Any use is fine - even just browsing to kill time - but I should be aware of my usage and the time spent.  I'd like to break things into manageable chunks, interspersed with other things like tidying, reading books, and so forth.

These goals, collectively, should make me a thinner, fitter person, with a house that's nicer to live in, and who wastes less time on doing nothing and spends more time creating.  It's a lot, but I will be putting these things in a little at a time.  That's the way to make changes like these sustainable.

The new year

First day of a brand new year, and personally, I don't feel any different about it.  Yesterday and today blend together seamlessly, and that're really how the whole year should be.

I'm officially starting my diet today, which means I'm clamping things at 1900 calories a day, workout or no.  That's going to be a big switch from the uninhibited eating I've been doing the last couple months, so there's bound to be some adjustment issues for the next week or so.

Regardless, I'm committed to this thing, however long it takes.  I'm not going to set a weekly loss goal, since I know that those are both inconsistent and also difficult to sustain.

My overall goal is to get down to about 160#, which at this point is a 35# overall drop.

It's been at least a dozen years since I've weighed that amount, so this is going to be a pretty hefty change for me.

As far as new year resolutions go, I've got a few, but I'm going to refrain from listing them here.  Too much discussion on them tends to make me feel like I've already accomplished something, and that's very far from reality.