3G - Day 24

Weight: 195#

Helping:

Sticking to diet

Workouts

Pull up bar

Not Helping:

Elbow pain

Too many treats in the house

Feelings:

Still stressed. Still working hard at resolving the stress. Gotta just keep at it.

Got a workout plan from a friend of mine. He says that if I follow it for a week and just focus on doing that, I'll see some serious results. I've looked at the plan. It is intense. Breaking down the body by parts and going hard at it.

I've been weight focused, this might be a good opportunity.

3G - Day 23

Weight: 195#

New location means a new scale. I'm told the scale here is 5 pounds light. And it is electronic, but doesn't track fractional pounds. So... weight measures are likely to be at least a little strange for a while. Still, even with the differences, I can focus on just doing the right things.

According to FitDay.com, my BMI is under 28 now... though, I don't really like the way BMI is calculated (I am not a cylinder), it is a reasonable number to use to judge relative changes within a person.

Helping:

Morning run

Installed pull up bar

Walking

Not Helping:

Access to ice cream and snacks and cola

Stress

Feelings:

Generally stressed, but coping.

3G - Day 22

Weight: 196.8#

Feels so good to see a number like that. So close to where I should be this week (at 195.8#). Down is good. Happy for it.

Helping:

Biggest Loser

Not Helping:

Cookies

Feeling:

Scattered and confused, but more frequently empowered. I feel like I can make a change, and like I can get things done.

Book 7 - Legacy

Legacy, by Greg Bear, was a cheap sci-fi novel I picked up second hand from the game store in Mannheim.

An interesting read, focused primarily on the ecology of a world, rather than on the technology of the world. In fact, most of the technology was pretty low tech in the main novel, but that was more setting than anything else.

The story had a good flow to it, and, being in English, I could power through it without needing much in the way of down time or breaks. It helped a lot that I had pretty much 8 uninterrupted hours to read.

The book is apparently a prequel to another book, Eon, which I may need to try finding. There's a few books on the reading list right now, and hopefully I'll get to them soon.

The Rules (as I see them)

Rule 1: Life is big.

Life, on the whole, is massive. Bigger than I am. Bigger than I will ever be. No matter how much I grow or change, or how far I stretch myself, life will always be bigger. Always.

This is not an excuse not to stretch myself. To not try to reach the boundaries of life. It is because life is big that I have the ability to grow, to stretch myself large. To reach beyond where I am now and into new areas of what I may become.

It is this freedom to grow that is the great gift that life provides me.

Rule 2: All things come in cycles.

Look at anything in the world. Anything in life, and see that there are cycles. A beginning, a middle, an end. And after that, a new beginning, starting the process over again. Never the same, never quite identical, but similar. This process has gone on forever. Before I was born, and long after I am gone.

The repeating cycles allow me to predict some of what may come. To learn from the past to improve myself in the future. To use others as an example for my life, and for my life to be used as an example by others.

Rule 3: I am me.

To be honestly and earnestly myself, I must strive to live my life in a real way. I must strive to be whoever and whatever it is I wish to be.

There were other forms of me before this one, and there will be other forms of me after this. Each of them was, is and will be me, in their own time. As different as each me might be, all of them are me, and all of them are true, so long as I have, do, and will live truly.

Rule 4: This shit is not my shit.

I must recognize the boundaries between myself and others. I must live within my own life, and let others live within theirs. I cannot make someone different than they are, only suggest. And in the same way, they can only suggest to me what they would like me to be. I must take what they suggest and consider it. If it is good and of value to me, then I may incorporate it into myself, adapting and changing who I am. If it is of no value, then I must discard it.

The problems another person may have with my life, may not be the problems I have with my life. So long as I live truly and honestly, and so long as my life does not harm others, then I am not bound to what they think is right or wrong. Their shit is not my shit.

Rule 5: Stop fucking around.

Life must be lived. Life is a thing of action, of motion. A life standing still is no life at all. A life adrift is a life that is watched, not one that is experienced. I must exercise a will and engage in action. I cannot be idle and wait for life to come and invite me to join in. It is far too short for that.

3G - Day 21

Weight: 198.6# (total loss of 3 pounds)

Waist: 107.0 cm (total loss of 3 cm)

Been busy running about here and there, back and forth. Spent 2 days and 2 nights in France, specifically Paris and a place outside Paris near Disneyland. Then in Germany for two nights, packed and ready to leave again. London, England this time. 5 days, 4 nights.

I walked a lot, took nearly a thousand pictures, and ate from restaurants and food joints.

Day 8 was the last time I did a weigh in and check in. Tomorrow is when I should do the next one, but it will be far too busy then, so I bumped it up a day. Compared to then, I'm down a half centimeter in width (and fitting into my size 38 pants), and I'm down 0.6 pounds. Not a great loss overall, but nearly 2 weeks without any form of workout, and still making a minor loss, that's great.

I'm back on track now. The flight tomorrow will set me off kilter for a while, but I'll be back on again before too much time has elapsed. And I am going to be working my ass off (literally).

Watching Biggest Loser Australia has really put me in an inspired state. Seeing what some of the contestants can do really does inspire. Yes, they have a massive support network. Time for them to do nothing but exercise and eat properly. But, don't I have all that as well? Especially now, when I'm unemployed, yet fiscally sound enough? I think so. I can make the change I want to. I am empowered to do so by the force that is me.

3G - Day 10

Weight: 200.4#

Weight stable, Which is actually good since I ended up eating badly again today. Was tired, so I went to be before doing anything physical.

Helping:

Biggest Loser

Not Helping:

Chocolate

Feelings:

Rapid alternation through depressed, annoyed, excited, frustrated and discouraged. Also, I need to really work out what "Not Fucking Around" means, otherwise it's just words.

3G - Day 9

Weight: 200.4#

Up again. Feeling bad about it. Ate too much again today. Lotta roast chicken. Way more than needed. Plus fries. Why do this to myself?

Stop. Fucking. Around.

Helping:

Miss M kicking my ass

Biggest Loser inspiration

Not Helping:

Bad food choices

Eating said bad food

Feeling:

Frustration, depression, disappointment. Gaining sucks. Being in the 200+ again sucks. If it sucks so much, why do I make the decisions? Trade what I want for what I want right now. No. Bad me.

3G - Day 8

Weight: 199.2# (change of -2.6# over last week; total of -2.6#)

Gut: 107.5cm (change of -2.5cm over last week; total of -2.5cm)

A bit disappointed that I didn't go down in weight on weigh-in day. Up by 0.2# (again). There seems to be a pattern developing of going up by 0.2, and then down by 1. Which comes up as a 0.8# loss over two days. 0.4 per day average is good, but I'm striving for 0.52 per day. To get there, I have to start putting out more effort. Both physically, and in diet.

Helping:

The run

Workout

Not Helping:

Streusel

40g bag of pretzel sticks

Mini chocolate bars

Feelings:

I said I'd be happy with any loss 2# and over per week. And I am happy, but I'm still a bit annoyed that I didn't make the 3.6# loss I'd been hoping to achieve. I'm a bit surprised that the gut shrank 2.5cm. That's a full inch down in a week. I'm down to 42 inches around, which isn't great, but is at least a number I've been at before. I'd like to get down to 36 around, as that's a size I think I can deal with. 6 inches in 5 weeks? Given this week's results, it's possible.

I do have to cop to a bit of discouragement this week. Got a comment from a friend which said "don't worry so much about the weight." I know they really meant that I should focus on just eating right and exercise, and the weight will take care of itself - but it was still a bit discouraging to hear. Keeping my weight in mind reminds me and keeps me focused.

On the uplifting side, I got some motivation from Biggest Loser Australia. The question "Have you done everything you could do?" was asked. And I have to look at myself and ask that same question. Have I done everything I could do? Or am I giving less than I should.

I earn my body.

3G - Day 7

Weight: 199.0#

Was happy to see my numbers down from yesterday, but a bit disappointed they weren't down more. I know running burns less than biking, and I didn't do much else to boost up the total burn.

Still, I'm heading downward, which is a good direction. Hoping for a loss again tomorrow, but I'm taking a break from the biking and running to give the legs a recovery day. No other exercise happening either.

Weighing in, photos and measurements tomorrow morning.

Helping:

Did not go get a pastry.

Not Helping:

The last of the bread pudding.

Feeling:

Frustration. In general, but at least in part with not keeping up with my high-end loss rate. Happy, that things are moving downward.

3G - Day 6

Weight: 199.8#

Surprised to find my weight managed a 0.2# gain. How is this possible? I don't know. I checked it after the official numbers, and was much happier with the number I got then, but I record my weight just once per day. Whatever comes up is the number. Hoping for a nicer number tomorrow.

New photos in 2 days. New gut measures then too.

Helping:

Ran again.

Did not go get a pastry after game.

Not Helping:

That damn cake.

Seeing the scale go up instead of down, even if I know the numbers day to day aren't the essential bit.

3g - Day 5

Weight: 199.6#

Gut: 108.5cm

It's the midpoint gut measure. Weekly measures on Wednesday, but Sunday feels like a good day to take stock.

According to calculations, I'm right on track for the weight. Yay me. Now to keep it going.

There's still a bit of time today, debating a walk or run, though neither of them feel like a great idea. Was walking earlier today, and my knees are a bit bothered. I'll probably do some arm work instead.

Helping:

29km bike ride today, even a slight hill.

Not Helping:

Cake. Still too much of it about, plus there's bread pudding now.

Feelings:

Happy to be on track. Frustrated at the continued presence of baked goods. Trying to make sure I eat enough, but not too much of anything. Hunger hasn't been a problem, but I've been wanting something creamy all day.

3G - Day 4

Weight: 200.8

Helping:

Went for a run today. Only 15 minutes, but it's a start.

Not Helping:

Meant to get in a bike ride, didn't happen.

Feelings:

Feeling ok, not great, but ok. Wanting to lose the gut for sure. Slight increase in weight from the previous day makes me worry a bit about being able to keep up the 0.52# per day decrease. It's a tough go. Any backslide just means that much more effort. By day 5, I need to be down a total of 2.6 pounds. It feels like a very big amount.

I still think I can do it without resorting to starvation tactics.

Update Note:

I have to re-think the math here. I've been using the day of 3G to think about how many pounds down I need to be. That's not quite right. I have to use the day minus 1, since day 1 is just me reporting my initial weight. So, I need to be down 2.08 pounds on day 5 to be on track. That means 199.7 or lower (and my scale only reads in 0.2# increments, so 199.6 would be best.)

3G - Day 3

Weight: 200.4#

Helping:

Didn't eat too much today.

Not Helping:

Mostly had cake to eat and other desserts.

I did a couple push ups, and meant to get on the bike or out for a run. Neither happened, so tomorrow, I get those done.

3G - Day 2

Weight: 203.0#

Helping things:

23km on the bike today, around 1 hour 15 minutes total.

Photos of self on FB.

Not snacking in the evening.

Not Helping:

My mom commenting that she doesn't mind how chubby I might look.

Feelings overall.... a bit down. Posted the startoff photos on FB, and got comments that pretty much said "wow, fat." Really stings to hear. But, that was part of the point. If I can just keep up with things. Get the workouts going. Get the diet going, then there will be progress. Progress they can see. That I can see.

3G - Day 1

Well, everything started with me being 201.8#, and 110 cm around the gut. I'm tempted to say "belly" but I feel that "gut" is going to give me more impetus to get it gone.

Helpful things from today are really limited. Rainy, so I wasn't out, and being in all day meant snacking on stuff. Ate a huge bowl of chocolate cereal, which isn't helping the cause any.

General feelings are hopeful that I can do this. 12 pounds in 6 weeks shouldn't be that difficult to do. Hard, of course, but not "difficult."

I have an image on one of my computers that says "Earn your body." I've been reading that as I earn the body I have. If I eat too much, I earn the fat I carry around. If I work out, I earn the muscles I gain. What I need to do is decide which body I want to earn, and then work towards that.

Here's the rambling part:

I have a desire to be fitter, and a desire to be less heavy. Desire has never been the issue.

I know how to be more fit, the necessary steps to take, the various modes of working out and applying stress to my body. I am familiar with a variety of routines and plans and workout styles. I know how to lose weight. The process is as simple as food energy in minus total energy out equals change in overall weight. Simple. I know which foods are good for me, and which aren't, and I know that anything in too great a quantity becomes bad. I have the necessary knowledge - or at least a firm enough grounding to start things off.

I have the ability to be fitter. My body works, there's no major injury preventing me from doing what needs to be done. I have the capability to do the work required. I have the funds needed to buy good food, and to make sure that I eat only good things. I have the space to do physical workouts, a bike to ride and shoes to run in.

I have done these things before. I have been consistent with workouts, so that I have gained strength and muscle. I have been diligent with my diet so that I have lost a significant amount of weight in a reasonable amount of time. I know it is possible to be less heavy - I've been there before. I know I can be more fit. I've done it before.

So I have to ask myself, again and again. Why am I not consistent with working out? Why am I not consistent with my diet? Why do I allow myself, again and again and again to get back to the weight and fitness levels I find myself now? I know the effort it takes to shift this mass of crap off of me. Why would I ever let myself put it back on?

Why should I need the input and support of others to convince me to get this gut gone? Again! It should be enough for me to just look at myself. To know that this isn't the body I want. This isn't the way I want to look and feel. And especially since I know that it doesn't have to be like this. That I can change it. I can make it different. And it's not going to be hard to do.

Just get started, get it done. Do the work, and tell about it when it's over. Decide, then act.

Get the Gut Gone - or 3G.

Once again, here we are. Me, feeling too fat for my own good, and resolving to do something about it.

June 1st has come and gone, and I meant to post something like this yesterday, but we're here now, so we post now.

6 weeks from now (the 1st, that is) is July 13. I expect to be travelling back to C-town around then. I'd like to be weighing in at significantly less than I do right now. Right now, I weigh in at about 202 pounds.

My goal is to weigh 180 pounds, but my low goal is 190. 12 pounds in 6 weeks? Totally possible. 22 pounds in 6 weeks? If I put in the effort required, I can do it.

Because stating a desire to lose weight actually seems to make my body lose some weight, I'm putting the desire out here to the public. But, since stating the process I'll employ makes me feel like not doing it, I'll leave the how part out.

To give me some serious motivation, I'll be tracking a couple measurements and making a few public declarations:

Weight - tracked daily, recorded on fitday.com, and posted here on the blog. Once a week, I'll post up a number on Facebook.

Belly - I've got a ruler in cm, which means a lot more precision overall. Rounding up to the nearest cm. Tracking it weekly, since changes here aren't likely to happen on a day to day basis. Maybe twice a week, but I'd expect it to be roughly weekly. This number will get attached to the picture.

Photo - Again, weekly, when I take my measurement. It'll go on FB, under a new photo album I will call something like 3G.

Feelings - How I'm feeling about everything. Blog posts mostly, but potentially also some FB posts. What I eat may end up in here as well. Done as a sort of "helping", "not helping" kind of thing.

Workouts - I'll record anything done as a workout here as well. Just to let me track what I'm doing.

There's 42 days. To make my goal, I need to lose somewhere between 0.29 and 0.52 pounds per day. My scale isn't that accurate, so it's 2 to 3.67 pounds per week (I'll settle for 3.6). I can do this, I just need to focus on it. Make it the priority.