Months ago (nearly 4 months at this point). I signed up for the gym. I went for a while. Then stopped. Then went again, then took 3 months off. I suck.
Since then, I've gone from around 193# to my present weight of about 212#. Yes, that's 20 pounds in just about 4 months. FUCK.
I've said to myself that I wouldn't mind being heavier - if I was fit. But I don't feel fit. In fact, I feel really unfit and flabby.
I haven't even been biking. At least then I was doing something. At least then I was getting some serious mileage laid down. I mean, a month or so ago I was polishing off the 450th kilometer in a 30 day period. That's pretty good mileage for a guy that doesn't do anything. Now? 0. Nothing. Not even a little bit.
What is it about me that keeps me in this stupid cycle? I really don't know.
I do know that I don't like the weight I'm at now. Few of the clothes I have now fit me. They're too small. Know why? 'Cause I got down to 185# and told myself that I would never again crack 200. Fuck me. I'm pushing towards 215 at this point. Honestly. How can I do this to myself?
I don't want to set any lofty goals. Anything I put down here will be like a mouthful of sand to me. Still, I can't get by without some kind of goal - some form of direction.
Thus: By the end of October, I want to weigh in at under 200#. That's 10# in 6 weeks.
Yes, that is pushing it. But it is totally possible. Only one way to do it, though. And that is to get off my ass and start working out. Hard. And lots. And also, I must stop eating so much junk.
I hereby put forth my standard diet and exercise plans:
The Stop Eating So Damn Much Diet, and the Get Off Your Fat Ass and Do Something workout plan.
I commit myself to doing this, starting today. I'm gonna need some help.
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